R I P ~ Harry W Paper

DSC_0354            This is my EuloBlog for Daddy Paper since returning from the Service in L.A. at Mount Sinai recently. Click on the video top right and~or pictures along the way to enlarge them if you like. ~ Born in Fargo North Dakota to Rabbi B.M. Paper and Rachael Bergher on 11 09 1922, Uncle Harry as he was to become, was an Educated man who decided on Menswear sales in Los Angeles, California and was very successful indeed. I knew Harry through phone correspondence but didn’t meet him til the summer of 2000 when we all gathered at Martin & Mary’s wedding on the California coast.. Martin, a friend since junior high, was engaging  his new Wife Mary while Harry enjoyed his first formal date with Norma. Other than the Wedding couple they were the best dressed  at the event. That began a long term dating journey till his daughter suggested Harry move the shiksa into his home in Encino. She mentioned it tongue in cheek as  Norma wasn’t childbearing eligible, so this was indeed a term of endearment. She coined the term the  ‘Cashews’ referring to the Catholic and Jew couple. I once quipped, ” So, you can’t get married because of your respective religions… but you can ‘Shack Up’ for 10 years ??. Who would guess after years of dinners, movies and  ballroom dancing Harry would  DSC_0442 propose Marriage in the Spring of 2012. Renee was already on the other side of Life but somehow I felt her presence around us during that weekend celebration. Albeit brief i enjoyed a close connection with Renee and flew to Las Vegas to say goodbye to her in her hospital bed a few days before her passing. I never got to meet Michele but talked to Louie on many occasions over the years. Fay by then was a distant but respectful memory in Harry’s household. Along the way i flew to the Valley to visit them at Seder, birthdays or Hanukah/Christmas. I would take Harry to the nearest Shul on Saturdays and Martin and i would go to midnight Mass every Christmas to hear Norma sing in the Choir. A few years back their Choir were selected to be among a few in the US to go to Rome to sing for the Pope at High Mass . Harry didn’t flinch when he gave her the money for the trip so she would be comfortable. It remains one of the most special memories in her entire life. Something in me knew the importance of maintaining a closer watch on their health status so as time passed I called once a month to once a week and more often as my concerns grew. Mom would call me in Reno with updates on their heath issues becoming more serious and intolerable.  Sensing the inevitable, i asked them to talk together about moving to Reno so i could guide them through the process comforted by my experience as a Nurse and Therapist with Hospice experience..  Thankfully i had a number of Doctors, Nurses, Therapists, Artists and Hospice friends to call on for support along the way.  404768_348736551884198_153903934_n DSC_0378 I enjoyed taking him in his wheelchair to Temple EmanuEl for High Holidays and even made his final Seder dinner with Norma at home.”Uncle Harry” hit a wall this spring and was homebound other than visits to his Doctor Jeffrey Millman who followed him closely since relocating to Reno. me-300x225      My friend and colleague Rabbi Elizabeth Beyer came to visit in the Center and a couple times at home with her loving presence  including traditional prayers at bedside two days before he passed. Before flying his Casket to Los Angeles, Rabbi offered a service at her Temple Beth Or where His aides, Nurses, Therapists and personal friends who got to know him attended a sweet and memorable moment together. It was as much for Norma as Harry as she was not healthy physically or emotionally to travel to Mount Sinai a few days later.  DSC_0010 i brought the altar items with me tothe Service for continuity energetically. Planning all this was daunting and the day before my flight i found myself in the ER passing a Kidney stone. If i seemed a little distant on Monday it was due to the stress, sleeplessness and mostly the drugs for the pain. I wish i could have done  a better job of communicating with all of you along the way  but it was not possible given the previous few months weeks and days events. It may be important to mention that weeks before he passed i overheard him on the phone to relatives saying, “Oh I’m doing fine and ill be able to walk after a little more therapy” or other offerings giving the caller a more hopeful feeling than the truth of which he didn’t deny to himself but his dignity made it impossible to sound weak or hopeless. He was always upbeat, hopeful , confident and courageous. Thats because thats who he was and always shall be.  We all efforted to keep him free of pain and relaxed as possible in the last days. After Mom and i assured  him we were gonna be ok and gave him our permission and blessing to go to G-d peacefully he surrendered two days later. You know the rest of the story, we were in it together at the beautiful Mount Sinai in Hollywood Hills. We may all share a little of “wish i could have done a little more” but in the end we all did the best we had. Some of you asked questions which i trust are answered within this Blog?!  DSC_0047Special thanks to Ralph Bovitz CPA who was his friend the past 50 years and Martin Simone his Attorney since 2000.   Please forward this to any friends or relatives (Pearl) you know of as i don’t have a comprehensive list available. Please remain in contact with Mom and I from time to time as we are all  extended Family now.  Thanks to Michael & Lynn for the beautiful flower arrangement at the Chapel Service. Gratitude and Blessings for the friends who came by to help Harry and Comfort Mom in the days after.  DSCN0170-1 In closing, know how grateful and humble Norma and I remain for the honor and privilege of being a small part of His life and Times. ‘They don’t make em like that any more’. He always referred to me as a ‘Gutte Neshema’, but in truth,.. He was the ‘Good Soul’!  I am attaching video links and photo options to make the rest of this Eulogy~Blog more of a Celebration and Remembrance than a mourning prayer.  We were all changed in unique ways by knowing him in this life and while a little piece of His Heart stays with us,…  a little piece of Our Hearts go with Him’. That way none of us will ever be alone.  Per Harry’s request I am honored to say Mourners Kaddish each day for 11 months.  Shalom Uvrachot ~ Peace & Blessings                                                 20140612_200120To see Mount Sinai Website > photo of Harry and upload your own photos, visit … http://www.mountsinaiparks.org/obituary/125599/Harry-Paper/#photos

To add your memories of Harry, visit .. .
To see a webcast Video of the Chapel Service for Harry on 06/16/2014, enter the password paper1922 after you click Link.

Photo Album of Harry’s Family life, Funeral, Wedding & Reno Days. Click Here   

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

jimiji June 29, 2014 at 9:39 pm

Thanks for help from Phil Johncock on the Hot Links. 😉

jimiji July 3, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Good Job!

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